Post by Ashemir Draemis on Dec 27, 2010 13:06:32 GMT -5
Well, none of them are getting done in any reasonable amount of time (involving me sitting at the computer and listening to a song over and over and over again until the words come to me), so I'll just post the one I have.
Feel free to critique. I get so self-conscious about some of my songs and really have to push myself to share them sometimes.
Forgotten Hell:
That wailing wind clawing though leaden gray passages scoured
Lonely walls until chilled stone air turned stale and sour.
And Death stilled the cracked mirror he bears year after year,
Far away from the place the fragile one fell.
In wilderness frozen with fairylit dewlace he walked,
With the silken key of a heart ruined unlocked
Such a tearful reprieve, kneeling under damp leaves
For a life, under its bitter spell.
What sort of God permits the damned to stand so close to Him?
On black steeples of earth screaming curses of hymns!
While the gales in the sky leave him raw, torn, and dry!
As cackles of the cruel fates frigidly swell!
Approaches he, hungry one who has tasted quintessence,
Seducing those to the path of bloody crescents
To an end sweet as salt! Where the souls spring and waltz
Into the shining red portal well!
Poor crumbling man, do you remember your memory’s blurs,
Do you even remember the man you once were?
Do you see they’ve all left you, corrupted and hewed,
To revel in the sinful cry of your knell.
Do not anguish for his state, he’s too far gone for pity
Passing through howling gates to the ashen city!
While he sings out his throes and they gently repose,
Carts corpses to a forgotten Hell!
Carts corpses to a forgotten Hell.
Carts corpses to a forgotten Hell…
And THAT one only got a '1' on the Mary-Sue litmus test under Poetry! HAH! That was for the word 'bloody', btw.
Set to music: www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-QacmltD4g
Melody starts at 0:24
More coming soon. I'm about 70% done with the second one.
Feel free to critique. I get so self-conscious about some of my songs and really have to push myself to share them sometimes.
Forgotten Hell:
That wailing wind clawing though leaden gray passages scoured
Lonely walls until chilled stone air turned stale and sour.
And Death stilled the cracked mirror he bears year after year,
Far away from the place the fragile one fell.
In wilderness frozen with fairylit dewlace he walked,
With the silken key of a heart ruined unlocked
Such a tearful reprieve, kneeling under damp leaves
For a life, under its bitter spell.
What sort of God permits the damned to stand so close to Him?
On black steeples of earth screaming curses of hymns!
While the gales in the sky leave him raw, torn, and dry!
As cackles of the cruel fates frigidly swell!
Approaches he, hungry one who has tasted quintessence,
Seducing those to the path of bloody crescents
To an end sweet as salt! Where the souls spring and waltz
Into the shining red portal well!
Poor crumbling man, do you remember your memory’s blurs,
Do you even remember the man you once were?
Do you see they’ve all left you, corrupted and hewed,
To revel in the sinful cry of your knell.
Do not anguish for his state, he’s too far gone for pity
Passing through howling gates to the ashen city!
While he sings out his throes and they gently repose,
Carts corpses to a forgotten Hell!
Carts corpses to a forgotten Hell.
Carts corpses to a forgotten Hell…
And THAT one only got a '1' on the Mary-Sue litmus test under Poetry! HAH! That was for the word 'bloody', btw.
Set to music: www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-QacmltD4g
Melody starts at 0:24
More coming soon. I'm about 70% done with the second one.
