|
|
Post by Banez Gladpath on Jan 11, 2011 20:30:32 GMT -5
When Lysand showed him the misericorde, Banez wanted to get away, but he wasn't about to push Lysand off, which just resulted in him shaking violently. In a flash, he remembered Osmond mortally wounded on the battlefield, where the enemy knelt over him with a misericorde in hand and inserted the blade under the armor gaps, into his mentor's throat.
"Please, put it away," Banez begged, his voice strained with distress.
|
|
|
|
Post by Tobias Lysand on Jan 11, 2011 20:36:32 GMT -5
Lysand was quick to toss the blade aside, staring at the guard captain with wide eyes. Banez being shaken shook him as well, and he didn't understand why he was upset. He slid off of the captain, face remaining flushed as he pulled his knees to his chest just staring at him. "I-I... I didn't mean to-" But why was he upset? Just...? "What's wrong?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Banez Gladpath on Jan 11, 2011 20:56:05 GMT -5
Banez sat up, glancing down at the thin dagger to note where it was before he looked back to Lysand. He bit his lip nervously when the advisor looked like he was completely closing himself up in his shell. "It's nothing that you did," he assured the other. "My knight, Osmond... he was killed by one of those daggers..." What an awful way to end all this.... Banez shifted over to Lysand, wrapping his arms around him. He wanted to say more, but the knot that had worked in his throat prevented him.
|
|
|
|
Post by Tobias Lysand on Jan 11, 2011 21:04:53 GMT -5
Lysand leaned his head into Banez's shoulder for a moment, words lost to him. He slowly unwrapped his arms from around himself, putting them around the captain instead. "I'm sorry. Are you going to be okay?" He didn't know what else to say. His earlier passion had faded away, leaving him so confused. Banez... wasn't a woman. The bible...
Was he damned for this? Was he damned for doing something that felt so right? He tilted his head up to look up at Banez again.
|
|
|
|
Post by Banez Gladpath on Jan 11, 2011 21:28:58 GMT -5
Banez nodded slowly, that overwhelmed sensation washing over him again. Honestly, he was too shaken still to know for sure, but now that his mind was at a more reasonable place, his thoughts strayed back to what had just happened.
Did he like Lysand? Well, of course he did. Was he attracted to Lysand? Several minutes ago, Banez would have said no, but now he wasn't so sure anymore. And what would God say about all this? Banez raised his hand to lightly stroke Lysand's hair. "... Was that how you feel about me?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Tobias Lysand on Jan 11, 2011 21:35:56 GMT -5
Lysand's heart pounded in his chest and his gaze broke off from Banez. His forehead pressed against the captain's shoulder as he let out a shaky breath. Then another and another. Answering his question would be... hard. Not because he didn't know the answer. Because he knew how vulnerable the answer made him.
He thought of just repressing his sinful feelings, pretending that they didn't exist. He would tell Banez that he was just breaking down- that it was just nervous tension that was released. However... He couldn't bring himself to lie then, his answer coming softly in a shaken voice. "Y-Yes."
|
|
|
|
Post by Banez Gladpath on Jan 11, 2011 22:02:47 GMT -5
Banez suddenly felt incredibly stupid for not having seen it before, and he had to do his own self-analysis on the matter. When he thought that Lysand had abandoned him, he had gorged himself on a third of a whole cake. He probably thought more of Lysand than mere 'liking'.
So... what were they going to do about it? They couldn't get married. But they couldn't do it, either, not when it was a sin, and they knew it was a sin.
After a few moments, Banez leaned in and kissed Lysand's forehead.
|
|
|
|
Post by Tobias Lysand on Jan 11, 2011 22:17:09 GMT -5
Lysand's face flushed again as Banez kissed his forehead. He lowered his head, pressing his forehead against his shoulder, just staring at his chest. He felt frustration bubbling in him, and his muscles tensed. What could they do? This was wrong... The church said...
But it wasn't fair! Why did God make everything so wrong? Why did He make man so weak?
His muscles trembled a moment and his voice quivered slightly as he spoke. "I'm sorry Banez. I shouldn't have... Because we... We can't, can we?" His thoughts were such a mess in his head that that was the best he could get out of himself.
|
|
|
|
Post by Banez Gladpath on Jan 11, 2011 23:00:10 GMT -5
"Don't apologize. It's not your fault." It wasn't a situation where anything could be blamed, really.... And Banez wasn't sure how to answer Lysand's question. He didn't want to say no, or hurt Lysand after he had opened up so much, but even by saying no, he would probably hurt the advisor just as much. "It's.. it's a sin, Lysand. What can we do?" he said quietly.
|
|
|
|
Post by Tobias Lysand on Jan 11, 2011 23:12:18 GMT -5
"Why?" This time, Lysand began to break down, everything getting to him at once. His eyes watered and he didn't bother hiding the tears of frustration that began to roll down his face. "Why? Why would God condemn the feelings I have? Why would he give them to me if I cannot act upon them? Has He not tested me enough?" He was shaking now, everything crushing down upon him again.
|
|
|
|
Post by Banez Gladpath on Jan 11, 2011 23:20:04 GMT -5
Banez rubbed Lysand's back, quiet as the advisor broke down. "I don't know..." Why did God do anything? Why did he allow so many soldiers to die at the mountain? And then Banez considered that the Bible was written by humans.... No, that was a dangerous thought. He pulled away, wiping the tears from Lysand's face and mustering a small smile. "You haven't been sleeping much. I think going to bed would do us both good." At least, it might make them feel less distraught in the morning.
|
|
|
|
Post by Tobias Lysand on Jan 11, 2011 23:31:42 GMT -5
Lysand's trembling would not cease as he tried to seal everything away. He squeezed his eyes shut for a few moments and abruptly his shaking stopped, expression disappearing. "So you'll be staying the night, I presume?" His tone was clipped and devoid of emotion, as it always was. He hesitated before he added, "I have an extra bedroom, if you would wish it."
|
|
|
|
Post by Banez Gladpath on Jan 11, 2011 23:43:38 GMT -5
Lysand returning behind his wall seemed so unnatural to Banez that the captain's skin broke out into goosebumps. An extra bedroom? What was the point in that? "No. I'll still stay with you. It's perfectly chaste in this case," he said as adamantly as he could muster, as unnerved as he was by Lysand's return to... being Lysand.
|
|
|
|
Post by Tobias Lysand on Jan 11, 2011 23:49:14 GMT -5
Lysand nodded slowly, unable to keep the pain out of his eyes entirely. "Very well then." He swallowed, shiver running down his spine for a moment. He needed to sleep on this. He just needed to sleep on this. "Very well..." He repeated himself just to have a reason to distract himself. He moved to shift himself under the covers before he moved over to give the captain space as well.
|
|
|
|
Post by Banez Gladpath on Jan 12, 2011 0:04:09 GMT -5
Banez removed the armor he was still wearing on his lower half before he settled in beside Lysand. He'd just... think about this in the morning. Although he wasn't sure what there was to think about. Men weren't supposed to fall in love with men, and that was supposedly the end of it. But here they were, stuck in that situation that was unfair towards their happiness, and they weren't even hurting anyone. He let out a deep sigh, closing his eyes and trying to will himself to sleep.
|
|
